Today

Today is all that we have
With our youth and audacity
Tomorrow, the time may come
When we would all grow old
Could tomorrow then
Satisfy our needs of today?
By the light of the day
And by the peace of night
We toil away our todays
Hoping for better tomorrows
Knowing not that
All our yesterdays
Were stolen by Hope
So let us reclaim our today
Forget about tomorrow
And let not Hope enslave us
To the past that has gone away

Another Republic Day gone by...

Sixty one years have gone by since India as an independent republic chartered its own Constitution. Yet, what have we got to show for ourselves, besides the endless political tirades and the tyranny of a corrupt regime pretending to be an honourable system pertaining to the need of the masses.

Over the years, so many people including myself have become tired of the circus parade held on this very day, simply because so many crucial issues lie unnoticed and hidden to the public eye, and so the Government’s efforts to sideline these by putting up a massive show to entertain one of the largest democracies in the world is nothing short of an insult to the people’s intelligence. One of the things I abhor the most is the blatant display of the nation’s defence prowess in the various parades held, which clearly show us in detail of the level of expenditure involved in maintaining the several wings. This expenditure is needed more for improving the social wellbeing of India’s children, not in a capitalistic or business oriented manner, but in helping at the grass-root level and bringing ourselves to a stage of self-reliance; definitely, buying more guns and developing bombs and shells is not the approach to building a stable society.

Why is it that we choose to ignore the glorious past of India, for if we were aware of her phenomenal history we would understand that the civilizations that bred and evolved here had a strong basis of peace and harmony, simply through tolerance and acceptance. For thousands of years we persevered against the continual attacks from outside, from various battle hungry empires that chose to plunder us and plague us with their inane ideas, but did we ever give up surviving? Never have we gone on the offensive and attacked another for the sake of profits. Yes, we did fight when the attacks got severe, but never ever did we have an organized approach to defend ourselves, simply for the fact that we knew that in the end peace would prevail no matter what. We gave into the ideas and attributes of others, we included their beliefs and embraced their theologies as our own, but we never stooped so low as to delineate our children on the basis of geography or elitism. Regardless of the differences, we considered ourselves and our ‘guests’ to be one in spirit, and this is the attitude that got us so far. We never showed off, we never proclaimed superiority and we never ever considered ourselves different from anybody or any place on earth, because of which the children of the Indus Valley always pioneered in every aspect of the pure life; we were trailblazers in social living, ploughing ahead in any adversity and laying the road for others to follow. All this without even the slightest shadow of egotism. Why are we then so far removed from our original attributes today?

Firstly, because we are still slaves and we might remain that way forever. We are maybe under the illusion that the Empire was driven off in ’47 and that we are free in our own land, but this so far from the truth. When the West left us, they carefully engineered a system which they had skilfully developed over the centuries of Industrial Revolution and the Age of Reason, a system so deviant in thought and application to corrupt every pure human being into thinking that his or her purpose in life is nothing more fundamental than base enjoyment. The system which abrogates the motto of Indian living which is ‘Existence through High Thinking and Plain Living’ and replaces all our social theories and evolutionary paradigms with the darkest designs of materialism. The system that I refer to is the capitalistic regime that we are all slaves of today.

Capitalism is the new Empire. That which has taken over from the Queen’s rule and has silently been guiding India and her children into the worst nightmare that humanity has faced in its evolutionary journey. Competition, an artificial sense of security and paranoia of being deceived are all derivatives of capitalism, and we are foolish enough to preach and educate the same to our children in the system of education that exists today. According to Maslow, human beings evolve through levels of needs, the basic being our pychophysical needs like food, water, clothing and shelter to higher levels like security, belongingness, esteem and the highest level being self-actualization where a human being tries to understand who he or she really is and what is their true potential. What capitalism does is fix our attention on esteem-based needs and here we are living in a social setup of show and tell. Neighbours’ envy, owners pride, live life kingsize, just do it and for everything else there is mastercard, these are the commandments that kids grow up listening to today. No wonder then that we have to spend ridiculous amounts on protecting our ridiculous way of life. This is definitely not what the children of Indus Valley had in mind, for their inscribed and inherited knowledge is much more profound and advanced than the shit that we learn today. As the Zeitgeist Movement puts it, THE SHIT HAS GOT TO GO!!!

Secondly, because no matter what we do, we have to face these issues. This is our evolutionary journey, to deal with the issues that Nature throws along our way and see if we can pick our way through the maze. We have enough evidence corroborating the fact that Nature and human consciousness is interconnected at all levels of the gross, subtle and causal reality. We create the world as we know it, and so the problems that confront us are not external entities, but reflections of our mental maladies. The world is facing a grave identity crisis, for no one really knows today who they are and why they were born into such a phenomenal reality. As children, we are asked not to question but to accept the fate of the world as it is. This is probably the worst advice ever given and if we do not change our perspective, we may end up as fossils of an extinct species like the dinosaurs. True awareness of our mistakes, our limitations and our negativities are what is needed to correct the deviation from our original path, and kids need to be told about all of this. There is no hiding from them, for sooner or later the more inquisitive ones will come to realize what we have done, and so it is our responsibility to increase awareness and also our potential to become what we are truly meant to be.

This 26th is not a Republic Day or a day when rules were formulated; today is a day of awareness that we are not silly people who once fought for freedom, we are not Kashmiris or Keralites or Indians or Non-Indians, we are not rich, or poor, the down-trodden, urban-rural-metro-cosmo dwellers, the gold-diggers and shit-pickers, the elite, literate, upper-caste or scheduled tribes, south, north, east or west; we are human beings, just like the rest of them on this planet, we are alive and that too for a reason, we have certain innate talents and powers, skills and knowledge not to make a better world, but to better ourselves. Nature is perfect as she is, and she will provide plentiful to the one who cares for her, loves one another and propagates the warmth of life everywhere and in everything. Love is the currency that we seek, not money; love is abundant and there is more than enough for everyone, but only if we give up our bloodthirstiness and profit mongering, our capitalistic strategies and our ideas of war.

The 26th of January 2011 is not different from any other day, and so let us make everyday worthwhile in our transient lives. We don’t need parades and political tirades, what we need are unity in love, in any place and among any people regardless of what differences or diversities may exist. It is these differences which make the canvas of our world brilliant, and the painting that we paint every day, a masterpiece!

Neo-Human

I love by letting go

Therefore I am free

I believe with conviction

Therefore I do not judge

I accept without conditions

Therefore I have patience

I experience without questions

Therefore I am able to learn

I live from moment to moment

Therefore I know eternity

I seek the essence of life

Therefore I feel sentient

I am what I really am

I am the neo-human

Serve, Seek and Survive

By serving you I shall seek wisdom
By seeking wisdom I shall survive life
By surviving life I shall serve you
By serving you I shall survive life
By surviving life I shall seek wisdom
By seeking wisdom I shall serve you

By serving wisdom I shall seek you
By seeking you I shall survive life
By surviving life I shall serve wisdom
By serving wisdom I shall survive life
By surviving life I shall seek you
By seeking you I shall serve wisdom

By serving life I shall seek wisdom
By seeking wisdom I shall survive you
By surviving you I shall serve life
By serving life I shall survive you
By surviving you I shall seek wisdom
By seeking wisdom I shall serve life

By serving you I shall seek life
By seeking life I shall survive wisdom
By surviving wisdom I shall serve you
By serving you I shall survive wisdom
By surviving wisdom I shall seek life
By seeking life I shall serve you

Hopelessly in Thought

“What have we learned when we were told that instinctively draws them irresistible, such as the extravagant idea that they can dominate without realizing it, and whatever they do to get rid of it, that their thoughts come and go, mingle, mingle with uncontrollable rapidity, they see objects, hear noises, voices that exist, as is commonly said that in their imagination? ... We do not see, of course, that area of things we cannot penetrate further, probing the causes, the sequence of mental abnormalities which we speak. Is not none of the acts of the intellect, affections, especially as the sensations it is impossible to know and judge other than yourself? To get an idea of any pain, it must have felt, to know how crazy nonsense, there must be nonsense yourself, but be unreasonable without losing consciousness of our delirium, without stopping to judge the changes occurred in our mental faculties.”

- By Jacques-Joseph Moreau (de Tours)

In Hashish and Mental Alienation, 1845

To experience, is the essence of all life! To experience the vagaries and variances, the divinities and depths of utter realization, and be lost in the sea of life, where we drink in the strong and hard of possibilities, all the while drowning slower and slower as the waves of time rush by. To experience, is to transcend existence into non-existence.

We live through each day knowing fully that it is but a pattern we follow, and yet we believe in a reason for this fallacy, that this is meant to be. To live as though nothing matters and to live with the conviction that everything does, comprehending the significance of every small detail, are two entirely different experiences. One need not be a prerequisite to the other, even though the intricacies of their interactions are far subtler than what meets the general eye. Why must one think of either when wallowing in the mud of existence, all that keeps the simple mind occupied is the primal urge to be satisfied? In various ways and forms, through the infinite network of means and ends we live a very determinate life, forever entangled in the links of cause and effect. To live in such fashion without ever taking a look at the finer mechanisms of thought bringing forth existence and how the world continuously regenerates thought is akin to the meaningless drudgery of slaves. ‘Why’ and ‘what for’ are a luxury of questions never meant for slaves!

To deny the right to question, to evict from ourselves the finer aspects of being a human, such as the study of designs and patterns without ever conceding to the idea of coincidence, and bringing thought to the level of transparent contemplation of itself to reveal its nothingness, without these explorations life is nothing but a swamp of incoherent happenings, where every struggle to escape results in deeper entrenchment. As we are immersed in thought from waking moment to moment, we do not understand how it is from thought that our world is framed and being born into this ignorance is not a justification for continuing in the same pattern. Evolution is not just a betterment of our physical attributes according to the strength of the surrounding environment, but more importantly an awakening of our psychophysical capabilities and thereby adapting to our own changing thought process, understanding its mechanism and ultimately controlling its sycophancies.

Where has this inherent capacity to question disappeared in the neo-human? Questioning does exist in our social system, but in an imposed, standardized and bastardized format that serves no purpose other than to exhort the enquirer to conform to these social phenomena, subjugating free will and freedom of thought to the so called higher pathways of society building and maintenance of harmony. The irony is that all the reasons for structuring the complex interactions of our species into a well-defined mechanism of social progress have devolved into excuses and silly justifications for the widespread disharmony and degeneration we see around us in the world today. What this means is that we must rethink our objectives for all the social experiments, review our current position with respect to the various attitudes we incorporate into our daily lives and eventually have the guts to accept where we went wrong, instead of putting in stop-gap measures to hide the consequences of our early mistakes and continuing with this destructive agenda formulated by our forefathers day after day, year after year and generation after generation.

To think, defines our very essence of being human and is the foundation of what we have made and where we have reached so far. Thought as an entity, is the single most revolutionary device that isolates us as the highest evolved system in the universe today, until such counter-evidence can be brought to light proving the existence of another system anywhere else. It pains me then, to see so many of my own species going through life as an automated system does, programmed with so many ideas and methodologies to deal with issues; these issues being created by the very social machine that programmed them in the first place. Because of this tyrannical process of programming, these auto-beings living and struggling in my world have forsaken the power of thought and cognitive analysis, crudely replaced with following dictums and demented social ideologies simply for the pursuit of base pleasures and for the avoidance of silly illusory pains. Do they deserve to be called human beings, I do not know; it is not in my infinite wisdom gained through lifetimes of experience and error to classify and judge another. All I can reveal is that if humanity does not reassign its priorities as soon as possible, we are all headed towards a major catastrophe in terms of our journey of evolution and there is no saying what the consequences of our actions would be, for at that point of time no stop-gap measures would exist to save us from our follies.

My meanderings in thought would seem inconsequential to most of my fellow human beings, and to many these may reflect the insanity of a mind unoccupied by what they deem is important to daily life survival; nevertheless, I agree this is insanity, but it is the insanity of an evolving mind which has torn itself away from the mechanisms of social compulsions and which is trying to see the bigger picture. This mind may not function as per the whims and fancies of the society and will not obey the rules and constructs governing its workings, but because it is removed from this stage, it observes unbiased and understands where the errors lie. By placing thought at the summit of our personal endeavours towards sustaining linearity in our path of evolution and by revoking all attempts of society to condition us and program our activities and thereby branching away from our sole purpose which is to become the epitome of intelligent design, we can address our current issues in a succinct manner and become who we really are. I must reinforce this idea again and again; that what we are today is not the real entity that lies hidden within us but only a pale shadow of the glorious self that we shall eventually become. This is the gist of our evolutionary framework, and all our efforts lie in the realm of thought and mental expansion, which is the next stage of progress and metamorphosis.

We have already passed the stage of animal evolution, of physical fitness and adaptation to natural challenges and checkpoints, of redefining our environment to better assist in the succeeding stages of innovation of thought and intelligence. We are almost at the brink of completing the social evolution stage, where civilization and systems of interaction have been perfected to such a degree that the world seems a lot smaller and lot more connected than what it was a thousand years ago, all of which happened in the last hundred or so years. But somewhere along the way we dissipated our efforts into many ineffective strategies that a paradox exists – technologically and scientifically we are way ahead of our times, but in social principle we are degenerates, never assuming responsibility for the development of our social mechanisms and worsening the situation by reacting to the issues in a haphazard fashion. Either we pull the plug now and discover alternative methods of adaptation, or it is clear that the point of no return will present us with a situation where all existing systems will crash and a new framework will emerge. But the latter will come at a cost, so hard to bear but bear we shall for we have no choice when it comes to evolution; as Darwin so beautifully put it, ‘only the fittest shall survive.’

So to summarize, we live a life which is a continuity of experiences, from birth to death, nothing more and nothing less. It is these experiences which guide us from lower to higher stages of our own evolution, and to forget this is tantamount to forgetting ourselves. Which in theory, and almost in all practical applications of society is what we end up doing; forgetting who we are, why we are and the significance of this journey called life. Simply because the family we were born into, the people we interact with to build the various networks and the systems that keep our daily processes going, all of them keep us from realizing these simple truths. Why? Because for their survival, we must forget all about ours – this is the way of our world! And in order to keep us from realizing this, prolific systems are in place to engage our thought, our most powerful evolutionary tool in mundane trivialities of daily living. Is it possible for us to be aware of this deceit and escape the trap we were born into? Maybe, and then again maybe not – only time can tell!

In conclusion, it is only fitting to quote Nietzsche, one of our foremost thinkers who was way ahead of his time, and who was persecuted by the very society he tried to redefine: The only seeing we have is seeing from a perspective; the only knowledge we have is knowledge from a perspective. The more emotional affects we allow to be expressed in words concerning something, the more eyes, different eyes, we know how to train on the same thing, the more complete our "idea" of this thing, our "objectivity," will be. But to eliminate the will in general, to suspend all our emotions without exception—even if we were capable of that—what would that be? Wouldn't we call that castrating the intellect?

Hopelessly in thought, this is how I would define my transient life!

Awaken Understand Merge

Everything that has a beginning, has a middle and an end
All that we know, and believe to understand in this world
Is a formation of the highest essence of thought and idea
Beyond this there is no other, as the world ceases to exist

The beginning is the idea of separateness, love and desire
Bound to the illusion of knowing that there is one another
Unaware of the original One, pledging belief in many other
While fate guides the ignorant to the experience of unity

The middle path reveals the highest truth, not so in words
Not even in the extremes of action and inertia is it found
For what is born must necessarily face death, such is life
And so the golden median guides the will to reclaim itself

The end is where all things manifest and not, goes beyond
Limits of ordinary knowledge, and lifetimes of experience
When the primal debt is paid and the source awakens one
To the pure realization of the One, encompassing all other

Everything that has a beginning, has a middle and an end
All that we need is the awareness to seek, and not to hide
Whatever life serves us, has this secret placed in the open
Like children we play, but playthings are we in this Game

If Only For A Moment...

Why do you cry, my Love?

He sat there cross-legged and facing Her, realizing by the passing moment how drunk on life She was. The music played and the night danced on, eagerly awaiting the conversations that were to follow. The beat carried their thoughts to some point far far away from time, a mystical point which stands beyond the pleasures and the pain that remains subsided in the surrounding world.

Why do you cry? - He asked, wholly knowing why though. For He has seen the pain before.

She glanced at him, an askew smile hinting at a return from her island of sorrow - What reasons could there be, besides the ones that haunt us all? I wish though, really wish I knew why I cry.. He kept staring at Her, softly, out of pity and piety. The tears rolled down without refrain, but all He could do was stare.

She spoke then, about the only thing that was alive at that moment. Between death and darkness lies a lifetime of missed chances and myriad experiences, but all that was needed was someone who understood, who saw the world as you did.

Do you want to know the reason for my pain?

It is this mind, that keeps feeding on thoughts and keeping me tied to this reality!

The mind that seeks and desires for all that it thinks it lacks.

He knew there was no turning back now, a floodgate had been opened and the only thing left to do was to listen and be aware - to absorb the relevance of what was being created or revealed!

He asked Her to define what the mind is.

It is the faith in the illusion. It is the warmth that one craves during a cold winter night. It is the truth that is believed to set one free. It is the trees, the birds, the sky and the moon at night, the waters that flow without rest, it is the grand story of our past and it is the future that holds great promise. The mind is all that we see, feel and trust in.

He was in a trance, the music was far away and the night had begun to sway, so He closed His eyes and let the words flow all over.

You may not agree with me - She threw it like a spear that struck right at the heart of all His inhibitions, His trust in Her.

He took His time, and when the words came - My silence is in agreement with all that you say. If I question you, it is only a questioning of my own beliefs. - She smiled, there was nothing more She could've wanted.

But all that is, is not only the mind. For there is something beyond, and when the mind is not there, it is this which acts and makes the world what it is. You can choose to think and act, and feel like being in control. Or you can choose to be, without resorting to the mind, and let that which is, flow through you. Whatever is said or done then, is not of the mind but the significant Other!

He sat still, there was no doubt in Him that this was an important moment, one without a parallel. He stared into Her eyes, glazed like pools in the summer without a breeze, and the sorrow that was filled to the brim, strangely made Him smile. He wondered about this.

Do you realize what you're doing to me?

She smiled, her drunkenness had made the air around thick and sluggish, almost as if time was slowing down and the world had reached the edge of reality's precipice, without the slightest view of the bottom below. She was asking without asking, for Him to take the plunge.

Because of you, I exist in two realities, one where everybody creates a set of rules for me to abide by, and another, the significant Other where you show me that rules were meant to be broken for the pure life.

She looked at Him, and then looked at Her through Him.

Because of you, I am now caught in my mind, with all its terrible faces. Now, suspicion breeds a confidence that never feels right. Every emotion is intensified a thousandfold, without respite am I to keeping searching for you, when you are already here.

She knew Him well, for theirs is a bond that spans lifetimes and more. It was Her time to smile at the tears that He cried inside. They both new the game well. Time had entirely ceased to whisper its secrets in this sacred dream-of-dreams, time stood by and so did death, in reverence of all that unfolded between Her and Him.

I am limited, my vision and my passion, life and everything is limited, when will I become One with Everything, When will this change WHEN WHEN WHEN??? - She looked and looked, searching, craving, plaintively yearning for a release, THE RELEASE hoping against hope that He would satisfy Her needs. But He didn't move, he didn't show a tremor of a thought. He sat still, smiling His pity and abject patience.

It is true that they knew this game, they had played it for so long.

She cried - If I think, I shall die. If I do not think, and just be, then the world shall kill me.

He was surprised - How can that be when being immortal there is no death unto you, nor unto me, neither is there time nor space, nor the thoughts that seemingly keep you afraid, nor the desires that keep me tamed? - and His concern was genuine, so much that She adored Him more than anything else.

Your tears have dried, and what you've been waiting for has certainly arrived. So why is it that you still cry, know so that I live to remove your limitations and to let you see for yourself what you really are. You are beyond limitations and little ways of knowledge, for the whole of Creation bows to you, as you are the Sole Cause for the mind and its fluctuations, without you the trees would not sway and the moon would not shine, the waters would never reveal their wisdom as how they do to you. This world lives with you, lives for you and because of you. Why do you cry then?

She gazed at Him, for a long time only their eyes touched and played, with the Love that knows no bounds. It was the gaze that asked the question of the night.

How do you know, my Love, how can you be so sure? How can you have the faith, that you have in me?

He looked on, what He saw neither Time nor Death could comprehend. They shuddered at His coldness, the total lack of the mind and all that springs forth from an unrestrained one.

I know because I am meant to know, for I am knowledge itself. I feel because I am meant to feel, for I am feeling itself. I am pure Awareness, that which can lend meaning to an illusion, depth to dreams and the very same which can wipe away all that exists and is thought to exist, in pure wrath. I am the Secret of Creation and you are the Energy, the progenitrix through whom my knowledge becomes manifest. I am Consciousness of the Cause, the Reason for Existence and Bliss Eternal and Immortal. And you are the Finality of all of this, for without you there is no me. I am here to reveal yourself to you, to set you free and thereby release this world from its self-created tortures. I am the Mind, and you are the Significant Other. Together we are One, only One and no more.

The light that dawned between them continued to fuel the brightness in their eyes. Even if for a moment in time, a break was made in the fabric of reality, through which the truth beyond truths was perceived. They sat gazing like that, He was lost in Her evanescent beauty and She was submerged in the depths of His intensity, for how long no one knows.

Some say that Time left these immortal children alone, and Death chose to forget them, for theirs was a Love that knew no bounds.

The Eternal Child

Dancing wild flames hold the gaze
The eyes go wild, seething with rage
Waiting for an opportune moment
To unleash its fury of all that is held
In check by the Cosmic Void by will
The eyes reveal the plaintive misery
A Child trapped in the timeless jail
Never to see the sunlight of Wisdom
Blinded by the dark glory of The Urge
The Urge is reckoning all to the end
When the eyes pinpoint the madness
These insane delusions of The Urge
Then the world stands revealed to us
In all its magnificence and the marvel
But the mystery ceases not to sustain
The mind wanders from itself again
The eyes are the gateways to Time
Time resides in matrimony to Space
Life as we know it is born from them
From the fire of their conjugal bliss
Kill the Father, set the Mother free
And the imprisoned Child shall fly
To realms far beyond logical reason
When the eternal Child is at peace
Existence is transcended in the eyes
Reality is a shroud to clothe the babe
When the mind is free from The Urge
And the gateways stand unguarded
The Light of Truth disrobes the babe
So the Child of Freedom stands nude
For what envy could the touch claim
When boundaries disappear into dust
When the Spirit remains untouched
Cleansed of ignorance and all duality
In the gardens of the Highest Love
The Child runs among flowers of joy
Eyes that seethed with the rage once
Feast now on the innocence of play
Running wild, and chasing the wind
The Child knows nothing, only aware
That the play must go on till the End

The Meaning of Darkness

Dark is the shadow impinging upon my mind
Going through the arid wastelands of thoughts
Passions and dire consequences, these curses
They route the awakenings of life, in its course
In its various meanderings, there lies a design

Dark is the shade of truth in this pitiful world
Storms of emotions erase all the trodden paths
I do not know my way, or the direction to take
For I have none, and I know so, so very clearly
Here is the way of love that guides me forward

Dark is the vision of sorrow, for it shapes fate
Cutting through in a straight line, without a haze
There is no fear, for there is nothing to forsake
And there is no anger at the losses so assumed
If I keep my mind on the dare, I outlive sorrow

Dark is the fire that consumes the man in rage
But when the will subsides, does the fire burn
Till the smoldering ashes reveal the only truth
My nothingness is my only possession in life
Everything else is a reflection in muddy water

Dark is the shadow thrown by the will of man
Leaving him to the tyranny of his wild senses
With everything to lose and nothing to gain
Does fate lead him into the traps of knowledge
Till finally he becomes the reality he ever was

Gratitude

What would i have done -
without all the people in my life?

They are the reflections of my inner soul
Playing and weeping, fools in a frenzy
Their string of follies is the garland of life

Showing me the unending delight -
that life has so much to offer
What prompts me to sit back -
to relax and enjoy the show?
How am i beyond these curfews -
that we ourselves take so much pain to create?

Standing atop a mountain of pain, and then one day
Without warning and fair decree starts the descent
Hurtling down, with no course or control...

Do i really love -
or is it all a controlled illusion?

The measure of kindness, the barrier of skin
If everything adds up to the sovereign state
If everything is true, then so are the lies too

Why do my thoughts still linger -
on lies, and such lesser affairs?

This circle of life, this passion of existence
Unbounded freedom, without the curse of time
Isn’t this the totality of all our silly games?

It is true and I’ve felt so –
what goes around shall come around
So it’s only a matter of time –
before the show shall start again
Forget all the truths and untruths –
all the lies and deception

Beneath the rife and the reason lies a mystery
It is that which keeps us all, and takes us all
That which knows no other, not even itself

What would I have done –
without life to teach me what to do?

The Burden of Thoughts

It's heavy, these thoughts that I carry
Some of them lasting for all of eternity
Never exhibiting their hidden presence
Drudging along this pathetic existence
Oblivious to them, wallowing in pain
Without ever knowing that they remain
In some deep dark corner of my heart
Buried under all the scars of the past
Patiently awaiting an opportune time
To wreak mayhem in this life of mine

I take upon the burden of cleansing
All the devious methods of scheming
Empty this vessel of all the lies, filth
Scrub and scrub did I, dirty it is still
To what ends of sacrifice should I go
What designs of piety ought I to show
Thoughts steal the strength of resolve
A weak will, the mind shall dissolve
Remnants of the Source, guide me on
When the burden is heavy and forlorn

Trapped I feel, I crave to be set free
From the binding shackles of destiny
Every time a chain falls, another locks
Drowning quick and chained to rocks
These thoughts are weighing me down
Insanity beckons, I’m losing ground
Every step I take towards the Source
And I keep knocking on closed doors
Nobody hears because nobody wants
Alone am I, so this burden I renounce

The Essence of Life

Death is an affirmation of life that we all have to accept. Without any doubt or questioning on our part, we have to face the reality of our death, which may happen this very moment or in many years to come. So instead of procrastinating to this acceptance for later on, why not surrender to death this moment while alive? To answer this question, we need to understand what ‘being alive’ really means. What is life and what sustains it, would be the appropriate questions to define the epistemic comprehension of ‘being alive.’ I would place the answer to this form of questioning, the direction of this dialectic, as the simple propagation of thought. Because the continuity of our thinking, right from the age when we started thinking (which surprisingly, the vast majority of us would never remember) till this very moment is the basis of our unflinching belief and our knowledge of our ‘being alive’ and ‘feeling of life.’ Something deep within and unknown to our defining capability, some sort of energy or power is felt, that brings forth this belief and gives us this knowledge.

Maybe, according to my primitive approach to this line of questioning, the first cause we had for thinking was hunger. Why was hunger so necessary, and so important in being the origin of thought? Because hunger was our first reaction, the body’s reaction, towards sustenance; and so we cried and displayed thereby our first emotion. The body instinctively knew that without food it would perish. Which means death, and the ending of the feeling of ‘being alive.’ From there, the satisfaction of being fed coupled with the warmth of the feeding breast gave the first feeling of pleasure, and thereby the thoughts of attachment and happiness. Slowly the defining capacity of the mind models and labels our world with all its people, things and situations. The years roll on with all this labeling of the information gathered, the memories stored and habits cultivated, and these take its toll on the intelligence aspect of the mind. To make it falsely believe in its dependence on people, things and situations, or rather the world that we live in and equate it with the belief and feeling of ‘being alive.’ That deeper something within us is wholly forgotten, only to be replaced by a system of thoughts and concepts, like religion, tradition, customs and superstition. Such a fragile system is it, that even the smallest misgivings and trials of error can bring down its stability drastically. Alternating with these are moments of euphoria from desires and sensory pursuits, which confound the ignorance of truth and conceal it well.

I have a dog that is taken care off, given food and groomed well, and given regular sessions of affection. The dog will not leave my company in search of freedom, nor attack me because it has found security and a feeling of safety, which is the same as ‘being alive’ for it. The same dog if harmed or provoked to a great extent might bite me, yet it will stay because of its attunement to a sense of security and safety, which in its ignorance it is afraid it will never get elsewhere. Observe our usual living situations in any society, and the same behavior described above is clearly seen. Maybe we feed instead of being fed, and still the it is the feeling of responsibility or an attachment built on habit that replaces that original feeling of hunger and sustenance of one’s own life. We lead lives no more different than that of the dogs, and yet we are somehow different. I am aware of this difference, while a dog is not, and so I write. Show me one dog that has said otherwise.

In such a case what is stopping me from exposing this ignorance and living a life of freedom? If we attempt an explanation by bringing in the concept of love as the cohesive force behind relationships and attachments, then it is a very vain attempt. For love is not affection or attachment, but the very same as the feeling of ‘being alive’ and it is all-inclusive, with absolutely no conditions applied. So long as we do not mistake love for the desire for company and companionship that all started with the pleasure arising from the warmth of the feeding breast pushed into our mouth to satisfy our hunger, and the reason for our first thought. The moment of consciousness of this ignorance, we become conscious of the something within, the something that makes us believe we are alive, that which tries to sustain this belief through our bodily reactions, like hunger.

This is what leads us to the knowledge of reality, knowledge of our built up system of thought and thereby the modeled world, with its people, things and situations, all the passions, irritations and intuitions. By ‘being alive’ and accepting death, we bring about an end to this ignorance and all associated agitations of the mind, the very cessation of thought itself. In speaking thus, we comprehend the utter insignificance of attachments and relations, of our trying to force and condition other individuals and the foolish attempts to change our world while still blanketed in ignorance, finally forsaking our freedom and thereby curtailing others’.

Having come to this conclusion, which is only possible by utilizing the intelligence aspect of the mind and not by leading a thought-propagated, habitually and conditionally ignorant life, similar to that of my dog’s, we realize the essence and meaning of life itself. Absolute freedom, pure existence and evolution of consciousness are definitive concepts that an intelligent entity can ascribe to the essence of life. But when truer realization occurs, in that minutest instant, we become aware of that something deep within, something pure and powerful, beyond words and definitions. Something that nullifies all our fears and ends all conflict, the very source of infinite peace and timeless wisdom. That something is the essence, that which invokes within us the feeling of ‘being alive.’

The Conquest of Reason

“Beyond desires remains the true meaning of life.”

The mind plays the role of the constructor of life and the architect of the world that we live in, through the senses and through the intellect. But we choose to remain within this constructed world throughout our years spent toiling for an understanding of why we are here. There is a definitive purpose for all our actions from the moment of birth till the last breath taken, and yet somehow this purpose lies forgotten and buried under the seemingly endless tirade of actions based on motive and pursuits of the desire based journey that we live through. Why is this so?

The difference between animal based life forms and that of a human is the complex entity of intelligence. An animal life is purely sensory and intuitive such that a response mechanism guides the life pattern in all its activities, be it eating and drinking, territorial conquests and procreation, killing based on self survival and ultimately death due to physical deterioration. Take the average human life and all these animal patterns exist but the intelligence quotient separates them significantly. We think in a similar way as animals do, but refinement elevates the human life to a plane of inquiry into the unknown. We are singularly aware of this unknown dimension in all of us, and yet we prefer to ignore the call of inquiry by putting layers and layers of animal functionality and habitual pleasure seeking that by the time we are finished with all these diversions it is too late in the evening of life and we are sapped of our energy to make any form of useful inquiry.

Animals do not reason with their worldly interactions and life situations, simply for the reason that they do not have the intellectual capability to rise above simple intuitive survival and question the motive of life; they live and they just die. Man on the other hand is able to question, regardless of whether the answers are available to the intellectual entity. And so starts the process of knowledge gathering through sensory data and eventually the need to reason with this data becomes inevitable as certain answers are impossible to be gained through simple sensory perception. To reason is the highest form of intellectual activity because here we are dealing with a realm of thought that has no direct contact with the subject matter that is being analyzed. For any philosopher, the only instrument of power is this ability to reason. On several occasions we have disparate sensory information being simultaneously processed that most people completely ignore any attempts to understand the phenomenon of life, instead replacing such attempts with ritualistic actions and repetitive social conventions and traditions so that they needn’t feel inadequate to perform the primary requisite of human life that is inquiry, which is also why philosophers and thinkers form a minute fraction of the total human populace.

It is rather strange how man can get caught in the hypnotic syndrome of staunchly adhering to society and its illusory appearance of security that the only difference between man and animal, being questioning and reasoning, is conveniently forgotten and buried under the burden of fears and complexes of repercussions from the very society that was intended to provide safety. As long as we assume the protection of this safety net called Society, we shall never progress from our animal nature to that of a human being, and ironically life shall never make any sense because what we were born to do shall forever remain undone. And why this is so, is a question that still remains.

The human mind shall never rid itself of desires, so why not transcend every other desire with the urge to inquire? To restrict any urge without properly understanding the reason for restraint is to create conflict and this being the sole cause for all forms of stress and tension in our temporal lives cannot be overcome by what is known as the personal will. In fact what is known as the will is but a figment of our imagination as the cause-effect theory proves: every action of ours, including thoughts is the direct result of a causative action or thought, and so by the principle of regression ad infinitum the sum total of all our activities is predetermined. The concept of free-will is applicable only when we view life within the interval between our individual births and deaths, but without taking into consideration the effects of other individuals such as parents, relatives, members of society and such. But this is a sheer impossibility as the inter-connectedness of every aspect of the universe is scientifically and rationally proven by the Theory of Relativity. Therefore coming back to the question of transcending desires is not within our control, or for that matter nothing is. But what is within our functionality is the capacity to be aware of all mental constructs, thereby being aware of the whole world and life in general. By being aware, which is to say by simply observing, we shall have the power to change as well.

What is observation, or the capacity of awareness? How does this simple yet effective awareness grant us the power to change? When we realize that what we really are is not this mind-body complex, ruled by the duality of causation and reaction, but inherently the very entity that keeps in motion the entire construct of life and thereby the creation of the whole world being perceived through the mind-body complex of each and every imagined individual, then the awareness is simply a matter of pure existence. Like the camera which projects the image, and yet has nothing to do with the images projected like a silent observer, the real ‘I’ in us can be aware of the mind and its games. And as Heisenberg asserted in his celebrated Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Theory, the very act of observation alters that which is being observed. So in reality, the moment we realize who we are and our ignorance that so far kept us from understanding our separateness from the mind, in the same way we realize that ‘I and my leg are not the same,’ that everything we see, feel and perceive is a product of this ignorance, including the very instruments used for this perception, only then do we suddenly discover awareness or true objective observation of the great and absolute truth. In that very instant we transcend space and time, cause and effect and ultimately the very cause of all our ignorance, the mind.

But all this is irrelevant if we only intellectualize about it, for it is the comprehensive realization that can grant us the power to change. Otherwise we are still kept running within the hamster-wheel which is our mind. Reasoning helps to break the cycle, to rid ourselves of our fears and misapprehensions and become free. But even reasoning can happen only to one who is totally aware, even if it is only of the hedonism of our lives and the sheer helplessness of it all. As Socrates put it wisely, ‘scio me nihil scire’ meaning ‘I know that I know nothing,’ implies that the moment we realize all our mental constructs and conditioning, our knowledge and knack of living is completely insignificant shall bring us into the pristine purity of tabula rasa or ‘a clean slate’ on which the highest truth of our existence, the Eternal Wisdom of Life, can be clearly etched. And once realized, the Truth shall set us free.

So the purpose of our life, the only question that we as humans were born to answer is this: do we continue treading the path we walked so far, or are we ready for the final quest, the conquest of reason...

Reality Is Only An Opinion

I choose to leave all questions unanswered
To find the lost way, out of all definitions
My words may offend you in every possible way
But what is real is all that matters to me
So I know that reality is only an opinion
Thoughts constituting the valid experiences
Presented to us on silver platters constantly
Then why should I trust these or any other
When all that seems to be is so beyond me
The mind that reforms and regulates deceives
I restrict and the reaction is more dangerous
And when left to its vices, resuscitates me
What is me is not the real me, do you see
Am I speaking nonsense, or do you believe
When everything is said and done, your opinion
Is more yours than of any use to me, because
I really know that reality is only an opinion
Which each of us is entitled to set free
But under the burden of the past preferences
Our experiences kept under lock and key
Without any lessons learnt, but crying
For a better tomorrow, even if today is all
That we have to make a definite change
Life's purpose forgotten beneath tradition
And all that is left is the dust of time
To be wiped off the soul's doormat forever
Sense and senselessness coexist, in the realm
Of Being, something that keeps us alive
But nothing changes, as we still cling on to
Our shackles and chains of pitiful bondage
To break these and set our destiny free is
When we know that reality is only an opinion

Stoic

Bring on what little ye have
For I shall soundly compensate
That all ye troubles may begone
And thy Gracious Light shine on

Beyond this grave of human flesh
Have I risen to counter meaning
Until we meet, eye to eye forever
Where the you and the I disappear

From the most High, we come by
Permeate must, the thought of why
And so forth release the riddles ours
The dawn approaches, night unaware

What is a Problem?

A problem is usually defined as an inconvenience caused to a person or persons. But the inconvenience is a parameter of the mind, which is in turn relative to the predisposition of the personal character and spiritual maturity of the person affected. So in an ideal scenario, where the mind is calm and emotionally dead, or at least to the lower base emotions but active to the higher circuits of joy and bliss, the effective recognition of a situation as a problem does not occur. In such cases, what is deemed to be a problem is only an event or a learning experience from which the greater significance of human life is clearly understood.

Only those people who are of a narrow outlook towards all that they perceive, are quick to proffer an opinion and try to force their views onto others. This is but an engagement of their ego and not the revealing of their true nature; their true nature is buried under layers and layers of social conditioning and moral garbage that they are virtually incapable of seeing the significance in all life experiences. Such people find only problems constituting their daily excursions and more often than not, these are the very same ones who end up being a problem to others.

To the man who has died to the petty indifference of the world and opened his real nature to all of existence, there is no such thing as a problem nor an event that causes him perverse pleasure or inconvenience. For such a soul all of life is a learning experience, and being dead to all the base emotions that crowd the mind of man the animal, this entity becomes larger than life and rises to new heights in our evolution.

The Unrevealed Plot

Beyond a sequestered role I play in this divine unfolding
A tale of thoughts rising towards a higher point of hope
No concern for the fallen lives lead, forgetting wisdom
The colors seen are the comforts held as the sole gain
I dream for the attunement of my soul to the greater joy
For long has all other beacons of life diminished here
Compared to the consequences of walking the median
A golden path revealed to the inner eye, the mystic man
Hidden from the normal tidings of emotions and errors
No fault shall keep the slumbers of the mind from going
Privy to designs of strange concepts, of why and the how
Magnitudes change, and what is seen can never be same
Of what lies across the discriminating line, divulge them
Rather to keep the score settled, and walk the lonely road
There is no doubt, of true solitude nor of the real purpose
Our game remains constant regardless of what the play
And so I remain without qualms, about the role and me
Of how the pieces fit, of what lies after the curtains fall
As long as the light shall shine, these lines should go on

Ecstasy of Mahakut

I am sitting here watching the late morning sunshine stream through the windows, the question seemingly pervading my mind being of the nature of what is the difference between real and the unreal when all that we are aware off utilizing our bodily functions, sensory instruments and mental constructs is nothing but the juggling compositions of the five gross elements and their subtle essences. Definitely I, the subject and experiencer of all that I see and sense around me, is only a well formulated ego pattern constituting of likes and dislikes, judgments and opinions, prejudices and past theories such that, all of it is but an illusion of reality. And that which is sensed and experienced, the objects of my perception are again part of the very illusion which my mind creates in an attempt at modeling reality. So then, what may be real and how may we understand it if none of the instruments and faculties available to us are capable of its comprehension?

Such being my thoughts and line of contemplation for a considerably long time now, I happened to arrive at an interesting and isolated place, far away from the bustle of men and their mental passions. Mahakut as it is known, is a two thousand year old temple complex unlike any other habitat of spiritual peace that I may have encountered in the recent past. There is a presence of sublime energy coursing through the entire reserve which no doubt has been contributed by the countless number of seekers’ penance and piety that has been offered at this spot on earth over the centuries. The architecture and the design would hold the eye and intellect in rapture for hours together, but here is where the idea of reality struck me. I was asked if I was amazed at the sight of the structures, sculptures and bas-reliefs, which I answered in denial because of the realization that what meets the eye is not real, but the sheer experience of the place invoked the divinity within, a sense of satori that filled my whole being with a joy unknown to the material mind. I know with absolute faith that what I am experiencing here is something akin to the real but what that might be, is the question still unanswered.



The whole place has a deserted feel to it, as if people have places more worthy of habitation than this stone city of numerous temples, gigantic lingas and weathered mysteries of rock that are trying to say something profound to the humanity that is deviating from the chosen path. But the abandoned state shows that no one is listening, or at least no one seems to have time for anything profounder than their daily lives and routines. The most interesting fact I encountered here is the enchanting route to the sanctum sanctorum of a temple dedicated to dakshineshwar, or Shiva in the aspect of knowledge, which is carefully hidden underneath the stone foundations of the temple complex. One must completely submerge under water in the temple pond, and an entrance can be located through which the body must be squeezed through, until he or she resurfaces into the small sanctorum. After waiting for a few minutes the eyes get adjusted to the darkness inside and the rock form of the idol, the small linga and the sacred bull can be seen and felt. Rest assured, spending time inside there which is unrestricted by anybody or anything is close to a feeling of an eternity of peace which the soul basks in. Suffice to say that at that instant there was nothing more I wanted in life, for everything that existed till then in mind or as matter was deemed irrelevant to the higher purpose that was revealed. I guess mere words can never completely bring out the true essence of such an experience.



Maybe the answer to the question of what is real and what is not, is that it surely is not the experiencer(ego/body/mind/senses) nor the experienced(objects/theories/world) but it is the experience itself, the noesis encountered which erases both the subject as well as the object. And this cannot be defined or determined by empiric means, only to be realized; thereby the ecstasy which is brought into the life that we live can transcend all our miseries and mysteries. Mahakut showed the end and goal of our journey as the divine experience of the soul, and that everything else in life and in the world are but only means to this end. So it comes as no surprise that this experience is what we revere as God and Truth and Love, and to bathe in this feeling is the highest point of our existence, which we all live and die for.

I’m glad that every place I go and situation I find myself in keeps the remembrance in me alive, that it is the experience that leads me to the unknown and that there is nothing higher than this supreme knowledge.

Aum Tat Sat

A State of Ecstatic Serendipity

In a state of constant ecstatic serendipity do I choose my words carefully, for what goes in black and white cannot be taken back, and eventually what goes around definitely comes around. I don’t really know whether this is a fable or fact of life that I choose to write, because sadly I am not in a situation to differentiate between dream and reality. This music that plays around me offers a symposium for the many I’s that reside within me, they can coalesce into a single entity for the sake of clarity or they could remain their individual selves and fight out the truth of what is being delivered here. Whatever maybe the case, that which is being created today within these pages, is but a singular recollection of all that has passed through the screen of life’s varied years, of perception and preponderance of emotions.

As the music starts to play does the gods of wisdom bring upon us the unique gift of aftersight, into the realm of tomorrow meeting the ghosts of the unforgotten past, also called the Fourth Realm. In such an instance of reality, did the demigod Nevar descend upon the mortal coil of my mind, guiding me through the pathways of sublime thought and contemplation. The music seemed to reveal a higher agenda through words that escaped those divine lips in a symphony of memories, strangely resembling those of mine. I was quite sure that the pathways were different from dreams, because I know what dreams feel like; these were definitely different and moreover, surreal. Nevar spoke of joy being the absolute basis for all things existing, and that which were to come forth from the Source.

I could not but resist asking what the Source was, for in that state of ecstatic serendipity the Source seemed to be the highest point I could aspire for. This was amusingly not far from the truth.

Nevar said that the Source brought us all into existence and the Source shall call us back home when we are done with our play of life.

The light and shadows of fortune and misery danced to the reverberations of thought and music while I was guided along the pathways, endless in comparison to the roads I walked among lonely nights, hoping to reach the moon and become one with the purity of white there. Desperation drove me once to the edge of reason, and while tiptoeing on the precipice did the cosmic powers ask of my need for salvation. The only answer I could bring forth was my own helplessness. Somehow that worked with them.

Nevar showed me how to skip across the thoughtwaves that didn’t belong to the point of ascension we were chasing. There are seemingly innumerable thoughtwaves in the Fourth Realm, and it is possible for an unguided one to get lost among them, which is what usually happens to ordinary life travellers. But to fortunate ones such as myself, the cosmic powers can send forth one of their own to guide and assist with the ascension.

I remember asking Nevar during our early days of what is meant by the ascension and how would I feel during the process. Nevar laughed, in the beautiful way in which he always laughs. Like how Nature opens her bosom of secrets to reveal the magical beauty that suddenly becomes apparent to the eyes of a mere mortal, spellbound as we stand. That laugh of his can change my perspective without even my realizing the importance I had associated to the questions asked. Because all of a sudden, that laugh can make everything else seem insignificant, and life stands still in all its magnificence.

The echoes rang forth, and the music was reaching an interval of disappearance. I knew it was near the point of ascension, for that is how it always felt like. Do not ask me what the echoes said, for there is no language that can explain their words, nor the feeling associated. But I remember how when the sunlight fell on my skin on a summer evening and the cool breeze under the shade of a fig tree would wipe away the perspiration and induce me to await a violet sunset. The echoes felt the same.

Like every other ascension Nevar asked me to close my mind, and if I hadn’t been on countless such divine trips, I just might have asked how. With a tightening of thoughts, into a collapse of all phenomena in that realm, whatever that made me and my surroundings, the music and the waves, everything fell into a rhythm undifferentiated. I was no more, for I was ever more. The placidity of all that had existed till then became clear, when compared to the frequency of existence in the world into which I had ascended.

Who is Nevar? Who am I?

If there was a need for questions, the answers would have been clearer and prominent for study; but ascension shows the impossibility of doubts, of the need for knowledge. Ascension is deliverance.

And that is how the whole thing came to pass.

Last Day of Spring

Insane preaching fell tumbling through the yellow walls
The monastery was old, like a witch grown cold in the rain
She hath no more vengeance against the lost souls of earth
The devil may care to put his ear to the last remains of man
Searching for the precious soul, within the lies of the mind
A priest walks down the meadows unaware and unafraid
Of what might be the last day in spring that shone bright
The rivers don’t care for the solitude that belongs to trees
It is but the movement of the ripples to the mighty ocean
But what skies might shade the noon sun from reflections
Upon the waters that keep the river in continuous motion
Last time the priest fell upon the carcass of an old mare
She never did learn the secrets of the ancient forests
Hence without a care she dropped her life for no want
Nor fear of lasting sorrow that haunts all mortal beings
Today her bones still lie in the grass to remind the priest
Of forgotten promises and fulfillment, of being forgiven
For trespasses of the five desires that consume all life
It is now time, he says, for the last and final call to us
Bring forth the truth, lest it may hide among old habits
Lest it may lose its way along the wilderness of pleasure
Do you hear the birds and the butterflies flying away
For no longer is the warmth to remain as the cold comes
The winds may change their course but the sun remains
Yet what the summer held dear shall once more subside
The priest did see all this and more, for he remembered
All that has come shall eventually leave, ‘tis but a circle
Of life and of death, and he was too old to forget now
Saying his farewells to the mare’s bones, and the forest
He slowly retraced his steps back to the yellow monastery
This fall shall be wet, said he, and the winter so cold
But no more witches of old remain, to bother his walks