For ages we have had a profound interest in the concept of Motherhood, as something or someone who is intrinsically linked to our life, tied to our existence with emotional and constitutional value, and for varied reasons the very basis and foundation of our true self. We have always, and may even for all time to come, looked upon a mother as “the beginning” and maybe even the source of all love. Even though in a philosophical sense there could be a shred of emotional logic in this, nothing could have been farther from the truth than this description. However let us try to look at the reasons for this in an ascetic manner, without any intention of degrading or downplaying the importance of mothers in the traditional mode of living.
Before we try to understand the concept of motherhood, let us analyze the roots of parentage and the differences in parity between the parental halves, namely the mother and the father. Of course, the two being intrinsic necessities for a new birth is a given fact, even if the results of cloning technology are increasingly proving otherwise in the current and future ages of genetic modification and revolution. The father is responsible for providing the ‘seed’ which has one half of the genetic information and the mother provides the other half as well as the necessary conditions like nutrition, environment and atmosphere for the fused halves to combine into a suitable ‘whole.’ Even the ratios for survival between male and female gametes are a million to one or thereof. Therefore it is clearly seen that right from the initial stages, the mother has a distinct importance in all viviparous interactions. And then throughout the gestation period till a few months after birth the mother is of great need to the proper development of the infant’s health and social conditioning. It is a common fact that many a times, it is the person indicated by the mother who assumes the role of a father without the need for actual genetic identification and verification, which goes to show the relative unimportance of the patriarchal half in the parental equation.
But considering all these facts, the mother character is of importance only in the conditioning years of the person growing up from the infant conceived. For what has been declared as the social importance of motherly love is nothing but a myth, cleverly conditioned into the infant’s education during the formative years’. If the child were to grow up in an environment of love from all persons involved in the conditioning process, there wouldn’t be a need felt for a personal motherly affection, and what is most interesting is that in very many cases it is the unnatural smothering of the mother to keep the child away from painful situaltions and hardships, the biased approach where a mother’s own conditioning interferes with the child’s formative study that influences him/her to grow up into a particular psyche. No doubt that the character of a mother is of immense value due to her sacrifice of her own body and mind for the growth of the child, and this is what needs to be reciprocated as love towards that kind and compassionate entity, yet there is no reason why the child should be taught to love in different ways. It is this difference in love that provokes a feeling of difference among the various interactions with people around.
So therefore the character of a mother is actually a function, of supplication of honest conditioning without bias, a rendering of help in such a way that self-reliance is taught, a formative shaping of the reflexes by utilizing the child’s inborn tendencies and talents and a generation of universal love without any degrees. This function would eventually give way to another relationship of friendship and support without emotional entanglements that would then be sustained; otherwise the earlier personal feelings that generated love would degenerate as time goes by into invasive dependency on the impersonal freedom that is very essential for the complete evolution of a human being into higher levels of consciousness. In most cases of relationships based on love and not sensuality, the degeneration occurs due to emotional attachment that tries to objectify the subjective reality. The moment we start seeing something or someone as an object and try to impose our conditions, restraints or compulsions we lose out on the experience and thereby whatever love or joy we feel in a relationship is quantified and not qualified. The moment the function exceeds its usage, the need for denunciation or replacement comes up and then the quality of original love would be lost forever. This is what happens in most cases when the function of the mother tries to invoke its importance on all other relationships in the person’s life, the relationship of the mother then ceases to be.
In Aldous Huxley’s Island, he writes: “'Mother' is strictly the name of a function. When the function has been duly fulfilled, the title lapses; the ex-child and the woman who used to be called 'Mother' establish a new kind of relationship. If they get on well together, they continue to see a lot of one another. If they don't, they drift apart. Nobody expects them to cling, and clinging isn't equated with loving.” Of course in certain societies, like in India, the position of the mother is given an unnatural importance, and in many families the mother is seen to be a domineering character who tries to influence the lives of all her children without regard for the damage caused to their lives’ and since this importance is part of a social structure, the children are unable to forsake this domination and any attempt to do so is seen as a social stigma automatically attracting the voices, comments and wrath of the moral police.
What we can learn from nature is that of the mother bird sacrificing herself for the growth and well being of her children till a certain point in their lives when her importance is pushed to the background and she forces them to fly away and live an independent, free life on their own. And as human beings it is our responsibility to be free, think independently and to evolve to the heights of consciousness and love one another, just like how we would love our mother!
Before we try to understand the concept of motherhood, let us analyze the roots of parentage and the differences in parity between the parental halves, namely the mother and the father. Of course, the two being intrinsic necessities for a new birth is a given fact, even if the results of cloning technology are increasingly proving otherwise in the current and future ages of genetic modification and revolution. The father is responsible for providing the ‘seed’ which has one half of the genetic information and the mother provides the other half as well as the necessary conditions like nutrition, environment and atmosphere for the fused halves to combine into a suitable ‘whole.’ Even the ratios for survival between male and female gametes are a million to one or thereof. Therefore it is clearly seen that right from the initial stages, the mother has a distinct importance in all viviparous interactions. And then throughout the gestation period till a few months after birth the mother is of great need to the proper development of the infant’s health and social conditioning. It is a common fact that many a times, it is the person indicated by the mother who assumes the role of a father without the need for actual genetic identification and verification, which goes to show the relative unimportance of the patriarchal half in the parental equation.
But considering all these facts, the mother character is of importance only in the conditioning years of the person growing up from the infant conceived. For what has been declared as the social importance of motherly love is nothing but a myth, cleverly conditioned into the infant’s education during the formative years’. If the child were to grow up in an environment of love from all persons involved in the conditioning process, there wouldn’t be a need felt for a personal motherly affection, and what is most interesting is that in very many cases it is the unnatural smothering of the mother to keep the child away from painful situaltions and hardships, the biased approach where a mother’s own conditioning interferes with the child’s formative study that influences him/her to grow up into a particular psyche. No doubt that the character of a mother is of immense value due to her sacrifice of her own body and mind for the growth of the child, and this is what needs to be reciprocated as love towards that kind and compassionate entity, yet there is no reason why the child should be taught to love in different ways. It is this difference in love that provokes a feeling of difference among the various interactions with people around.
So therefore the character of a mother is actually a function, of supplication of honest conditioning without bias, a rendering of help in such a way that self-reliance is taught, a formative shaping of the reflexes by utilizing the child’s inborn tendencies and talents and a generation of universal love without any degrees. This function would eventually give way to another relationship of friendship and support without emotional entanglements that would then be sustained; otherwise the earlier personal feelings that generated love would degenerate as time goes by into invasive dependency on the impersonal freedom that is very essential for the complete evolution of a human being into higher levels of consciousness. In most cases of relationships based on love and not sensuality, the degeneration occurs due to emotional attachment that tries to objectify the subjective reality. The moment we start seeing something or someone as an object and try to impose our conditions, restraints or compulsions we lose out on the experience and thereby whatever love or joy we feel in a relationship is quantified and not qualified. The moment the function exceeds its usage, the need for denunciation or replacement comes up and then the quality of original love would be lost forever. This is what happens in most cases when the function of the mother tries to invoke its importance on all other relationships in the person’s life, the relationship of the mother then ceases to be.
In Aldous Huxley’s Island, he writes: “'Mother' is strictly the name of a function. When the function has been duly fulfilled, the title lapses; the ex-child and the woman who used to be called 'Mother' establish a new kind of relationship. If they get on well together, they continue to see a lot of one another. If they don't, they drift apart. Nobody expects them to cling, and clinging isn't equated with loving.” Of course in certain societies, like in India, the position of the mother is given an unnatural importance, and in many families the mother is seen to be a domineering character who tries to influence the lives of all her children without regard for the damage caused to their lives’ and since this importance is part of a social structure, the children are unable to forsake this domination and any attempt to do so is seen as a social stigma automatically attracting the voices, comments and wrath of the moral police.
What we can learn from nature is that of the mother bird sacrificing herself for the growth and well being of her children till a certain point in their lives when her importance is pushed to the background and she forces them to fly away and live an independent, free life on their own. And as human beings it is our responsibility to be free, think independently and to evolve to the heights of consciousness and love one another, just like how we would love our mother!
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